The Foretelling of Attainment
by Molahsurey
Summary: Connor/Murphy Starting from when they wake up in the holding cell.
1. Chapter 1

The brothers were sound asleep despite how hard the mattresses of the cots were and how cold and damp the atmosphere of the room was; but within a moment the two men shot up, sitting stiffly in their beds and panting harshly, their hearts beating at a rapid pace due to the prophetical dream they had just shared. It took a few seconds for both of them to realize they were in the same frenzied state before they turned their heads to face one another, gazing wildly into each other's eyes. Their stares were intense, their breathing heavy and erratic, and their mouths were open in such a way that was almost erotic as they sat there tensely, just staring, while large drops of water fell down onto their heads and chests, cascading down their silhouettes and increasing their frigidness. Within the next minute they spoke in unison, words that came to them just moments before, "Destroy that which is evil, so that which is good may flourish.

It was an odd sensation, one that they had experienced on occasion but very rarely; but this was the strongest it had ever been, the dream had been so vivid and the energy flowing between them was so tangible. The brothers let their gazes wander over the bare torso of the other twin, both glistening in the dim light shining through the tiny window. They were captivated by the heat radiating around them and the sheer electricity dancing between them that prickled their bodies. It was awkward but they couldn't look away, they couldn't control how their chests were heaving and their minds were clouded with emotion, emotion aimed toward one another.

It was Murphy who turned away first, letting his upper body fall heavily back down and go limp with exhaustion as he stared up at the ceiling. He swallowed hard, his breathing still labored, confusion showing clearly on his features. What the fuck was this? What the hell was he feeling? All he knew was that he could still feel Connor's eyes on him and it was making him uncomfortable.

Connor watched his brother for a bit longer, it not even being a fully conscious effort, before slowly leaning back himself. He stared at the ceiling as well, but, unlike Murphy, he was void of any kind of thought process, he couldn't comprehend what he was feeling at all, it almost seemed to him like some sort of... arousal. The electricity hadn't dissipated one bit, it still hung thickly in the air between them; the brothers felt like they were resisting a magnetic pull towards each other.

As Connor's ears focused in on Murphy's breathing he felt a twinge deep inside him, the odd arousal he felt within himself growing a fraction. Before he could stop himself he quietly breathed out his brother's name, "Murphy..." It came out like an uncertain question, a reluctant admittance of need.

Something about the way his twin uttered his name made Murphy's insides coil and he could no longer hold back his own arousal, though he did try to hide it. He didn't like this, he didn't like feeling this in Connor's presence; usually he only felt like this when he was alone, when he had privacy. He risked looking over at his brother and saw the strange expression on his face, he looked so lost, yet he held a look of revelation as well. He seemed conflicted. Murphy sat up again, only this time he swung his legs off and sat on the edge of the bed, his hands gripping the mattress on either side of him; he didn't care if he felt awkward, he didn't like the look on his twin's face, it worried him, "Conn... You ok?" he asked softly, his voice a bit hoarse.

A spark shot through Connor's stomach at the sound of Murphy's voice and he began to breathe quickly, but shallow, as his mind raced to come up with an answer. After a few seconds he sat up in frustration, looking back at his brother, not having any clue what to say. Once again they were staring into each other's eyes and the intensity was back full force. Murphy waited, literally on the edge of his seat, for an answer, it wasn't like Connor to be so quiet.

"I..." Connor started, but he was unable to think through the cloud of need that flooded his mind, the need for release, any kind of release. Suddenly he was standing, looking down at Murphy from a foot away, his amazingly toned abs right in the line of Murphy's vision, causing Murphy to stop breathing momentarily as Connor moved forward. Connor's brows knitted together in confusion to his own actions when he reached Murphy and lifted a leg up to rest his knee on the bed just to the side of his brother's hip before he slowly pushed Murphy down onto his back, one hand tentatively resting on Murphy's chest and the other cupping his twin's cheek gently.

Murphy's heart pounded nervously as he was lowered, his brother climbing on top of him, and he gazed up into his twin's captivating eyes wondering what the fuck was happening. If truth be told, Connor had felt this way before, a couple times, but it had never been this strong, it had never gotten to the point where he felt like he had to act on his impulses, not until now. "Stop me..." Connor whispered, practically pleading, his voice quivering and his body shaking. He knew this was so wrong, it wasn't right of him to touch Murphy this way, to want him this way, but he couldn't stop himself. Connor brushed his thumb lightly over Murphy's mouth and along his cheekbone as he lowered his lips down closer to his brother's until they were almost touching, almost, they were so fucking close. Connor ached, his body ached for Murphy; he ached with the need to kiss the man that was laying beneath him.

"I can't..." Murphy whimpered, partially from arousal, partially from confusion, and partially from anticipation. Not only could he not physically stop him, but he didn't think he even wanted to stop him. No, he didn't, even though he knew just as much as Connor did that this was wrong. He was waiting, waiting for something, anything. Connor's grip on Murphy's jawline tightened and his face drew closer in reaction to his brother's whimper, a soft noise emanating from his throat; his arousal was becoming quite apparent as his hips dipped down and he ground lightly into Murphy, his erection pressing gently into Murphy's pelvis, causing another noise to leave Connor in the form of a small groan. Murphy inhaled sharply at the brief contact, his hips quickly bucking up in return. Their lips were slightly touching now, just barely, they were teetering dangerously on the fence as their breath mingled; they were a split second away from crossing the thin line they had left.

And then Connor came to his senses, he froze and his body went rigid; he couldn't do this, he wouldn't, he wasn't going to take advantage of Murphy like this just because he was inexplicably aroused. He was horrified and humiliated by what he was doing and he swiftly pushed himself up and away from his brother, turning away from him and beginning to internally panic.

In a flash Murphy felt the loss of his brother's body, the loss of his touch and his warmth and his... everything. The room was once again damp and cold as he stared up at the ceiling dumbfounded. With his forehead creased in concern he turned his head to look over at Connor whose back was to him, "Come back..." he choked out, suddenly overcome with emotion, especially fear, the fear of being alone.

Connor put his hand to his mouth and stood there thinking, not knowing what to do, he hated the way his brother sounded, he sounded hurt and confused, and Connor was definitely just as confused if not more. He shook his head, he couldn't be here, he couldn't think straight, he couldn't function; he had to get away for a bit. Without saying a word he left the room, sitting just outside, they were being held so he couldn't go far.

Murphy stared after him, stunned, staring at the doorway even after Connor was long gone. He didn't know what happened, he didn't know why more didn't happen, and he didn't know how to act the next time he saw Connor.


	2. Chapter 2

Murphy hadn't allowed himself to cry, he would have felt foolish, there was really no reason for him to cry; him and Connor were brothers and they shouldn't have to be anything more than that, they had the closest sibling relationship that he knew of and that should be enough. So, forcing himself not to shed one tear, he fell asleep right how Connor had left him, not moving one muscle and feeling cold and alone even though he knew his brother was just outside. This of course led to him waking up in the morning, just a few hours later, with his body aching all over. The first thing he did when he opened his eyes, and remembered what had happened earlier, was immediately prop himself up on his elbows and look over at the other bed to see if Connor had come back in, and to his disappointment he had not. He frowned and stared at where his brother should be, if Connor had stayed out in the hall this whole time then he was most likely just as achy as Murphy was, if not more. Murphy felt bad that Connor had been driven away by what happened; that he felt like he couldn't be in the same room with him, they had never felt uncomfortable around each other before. But Murphy didn't really blame him, what occurred had been uncomfortable and awkward, alarming even, and he didn't even know how he'd handle being in Connor's presence right now. The feelings that he had felt were ones he'd felt many times before, ones that he tried to push away and hide, not only from his brother but from himself as well, but now that they had been brought fully to both of their attentions, not just Murphy's feelings but also Connor's, he knew they weren't going to go away and that, that moment would be on his mind constantly from now on, and those feelings would now forever be heightened.

The thought of going out to check on his twin scared him, he didn't want things to be different between them, but he knew he had to do it. Sitting up he gathered his wits, pushing down his nervousness and gearing himself up for whatever state his brother might be in, before standing and heading purposely for the door. Reaching out for the handle he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath in and calming himself even further, before slowly turning the knob and pulling the door open. Poking his head out before letting his body follow he looked to the left and saw Connor there, sitting on floor leaning against the wall with his legs brought upward and his arms loosely wrapped around them and his chin resting against his chest, asleep. Murphy's expression softened at the sight and a slight smile crept onto his lips, Connor looked so sweet.

He quickly went to kneel beside his brother, reaching out and ruffling his hair, "Hey, Connor, wake up." He snickered a bit as his twin tiredly blinked his eyes open, rubbing them on his upper arms before bringing his hands up to rub at them.

Leaning his head back Connor groaned lightly, "Jesus Christ, remind me never to fall asleep like this again."

If it were any other situation Murphy would have laughed at his brother and found his grumbling cute, but he knew he was just trying to avoid what happened. Murphy pulled his hand away from Connor with a dead serious look, his voice a bit stern "Why did you leave?"

Connor froze, staring blankly at the opposite wall, he didn't know what to say; it should be obvious why he left really. He took a deep breath in and it came back out with a shudder, "Because I was freaked out, ok?"

Murphy's expression softened and he tilted his head so he could see Connor's face at a better angle, then he brought a hand up and caressed his brother's cheek, his thumb stroking it softly, "Why were you freaked out?"

A second after Murphy had touched him Connor flinched and moved away, smacking his twin's hand away; he then pointed a finger at him, "Stop it!" He stood from his spot and stepped around Murphy, mumbling, "I need my shirt.."

Murphy was shocked by Connor's almost violent reaction, staring at where he had been sitting. Maybe he shouldn't have touched him like that, but it had felt nice, he liked the idea of being more sensual with his brother. But Connor clearly felt uncomfortable with it, it was obvious he didn't want to talk about it, and he clearly thought it was wrong; Murphy understood, but it still hurt his feelings. He stood and turned around, following his brother into the room, calling after him, "Connor, its ok! You don't need to run away from me," when he walked in he saw Connor putting his shirt on frustratedly.

"Leave it be, Murphy, there's nothin' to talk about," he replied with a glare as he went to move past him.

Murphy wasn't going to let him get away without talking about it, it would drive him crazy all day, so he grabbed Connor and stood his ground, making it so his brother couldn't get to the doorway, "There's plenty to talk about," he grunted. Connor pushed and shoved at Murphy, trying to get out of his grip, as he continued to try and work his way to the door, completely ignoring what his brother was saying and not giving him a response. They struggled like that until Murphy's back hit the open door and he flung an arm behind himself so he could move it before letting his back fall against it, causing it to slam shut. The force of the door shutting made Connor fall into Murphy and they both grunted, Murphy wrapping his arms around his brother so he wouldn't fall.

Just from the feeling of Murphy holding him Connor relaxed a bit, not really wanting to fight it anymore. He brought his hands up to his brother's hips and squeezed gently, letting his cheek brush against Murphy's chest as he inhaled shakily, "Murph..." he spoke almost desperately, "I can't talk about it because I don't know what to say. I don't know what I'm feeling, and I don't know why I did..." he paused, not knowing how to address it, "that." And as he leaned into his twin he began to feel the same warmth enter his body, the same urge he had the night before to touch him, and to kiss him, and, once again, it was scaring him.

Murphy sort of expected Connor to push himself away and possibly freak out a bit more, but instead he stayed in his arms; and it felt nice. His chest tightened at the closeness, and the way Connor's fingers lightly dug into his hips made his body tingle. He had always known his brother could make him feel this way, but now he was actually experiencing it, physically. He let his hands lazily wander along Connor's back soothingly, his heartbeat growing a bit more rapid and his breathing now a little more shallow, "It's alright, Conn... You don't need to know. Just relax..." He was a little weirded out by this too but he didn't know why his brother was so freaked out, he was trying his best to calm him, he just wanted Connor to talk to him, not avoid him.

Connor's body loosened up even more against Murphy's but the warmth within him grew, almost to an unbearable point, and he began to pant heavily against Murphy's bare chest. Before he could stop them his hands started to slowly creep up his brother's sides, gripping lightly and feeling every rib, every slight curve, as his chest heaved and his hot breath blew out onto Murphy's skin. Even though he wasn't physically fighting, he was emotionally fighting, trying his damnedest not to press his lips to his brother's collarbone, trying desperately not to let his hands wander down the other way, trying so hard not to give in... But he was faltering. It was the night before all over again.

Murphy was slightly taken by surprise, but he was too hot and bothered to really think much of it. His eyes fluttered and his head tilted back at the intimate feeling of his brother's hands crawling up his sides and his breath flowing out along his chest; every release of air made Murphy's body shiver and every slight movement of Connor's fingers made the heat within his stomach rise even further. Connor was barely doing anything and he was driving him crazy; maybe that was why, he wanted more. He couldn't help but to let out a small whimper as his arousal grew. Never would he have thought Connor would ever be this close to him, not like this. He never even realized just how much he wanted it until now.

Hearing the soft whimper come from his brother made Connor want to take Murphy right then and there even more, it made him want to rip the rest of his clothes off and screw him hard against the wall. But even though he wanted to fuck him ravenously, he wanted there to be meaning behind it. Emotion, want, and desire were raging inside of him and it felt like he would die if he couldn't have Murphy in that moment. He couldn't think straight again, all he knew was what he was feeling. But even though he heard the whimper he didn't know if Murphy really wanted this or if it was just an automatic reaction. He felt guilty but he couldn't stop. He moved his left hand to the front of Murphy's torso and teasingly brushed his fingertips downward, causing Murphy to shiver and breathe more shakily, until he reached his brother's inner thigh, he then firmly dragged his hand back up the thigh before cupping Murphy's bulge through his jeans, his grip firm and needy yet cautious at the same time, "This need isn't going to go away..." he breathed out.

Murphy inhaled deeply at the sudden placement of his brother's hand and his cock twitched within the grip, he couldn't keep his hips from wiggling as he let out a soft groan, "What do you need?" he asked breathlessly.

There was so much he needed that he didn't know how to answer the question, it was impossible to say exactly what he needed, "You..." he whispered. He could feel Murphy growing in the palm of his hand and it made him ache within his own confines, but he still didn't know if it was just a reaction. He let his eyes go up to Murphy's face and he took in his twin's expression, the lust and need that flashed all over his own features, and it drew him in further to where their lips were, again, almost touching, and it was so painful having to resist closing the last little distance.

Murphy swallowed hard at the closeness and tried his best not to moan right in Connor's face. His fingers curled into the back of his brother's shirt, "You've always had me, Conn..."

"I know..." he replied, their lips brushing together as he spoke, "But not the way I want you..."

Murphy's breath hitched at those words, words he couldn't believe he was hearing, ones that he'd been secretly wanting to hear. His hands pulled at Connor's shirt as he tried to get his brother to move closer, and his hips ground forward into Connor's hand. Connor wasn't doing anything and it was frustrating him, "Then take me now..." he whined.

That whine broke Connor's heart, just like it did when he told him to come back, and this time he couldn't resist, he couldn't hurt him again; maybe Murphy really did want this. He brought his free hand up to run it through his brother's hair as he stepped closer, pressing his body into Murphy's and putting more pressure from his hand onto his twin's growing erection, causing Murphy to groan against Connor's mouth. Connor couldn't take it anymore and he tilted his head before closing the distance and capturing his brother's lips with his own, a rush of heat pooling in his abdomen at the contact. Their lips moved together languidly, their tongues gently moving into the other's mouth, both of them flushing with overheated arousal.

And then there was a knock at the door and Connor pulled away.


	3. Chapter 3

The loss of Connor's mouth against his own felt more disappointing than he could have ever imagined, but Murphy understood why his brother pulled away, they couldn't ignore the person who was standing outside. But he also knew that all the progress that they had made was now lost, he knew for a fact that Connor would be awkward again. He hadn't moved a muscle and was staring at Connor, wishing he could pull his twin back to him, and wishing to God that no one had knocked on the damn door. Connor's eyes shifted around, not once meeting his, which annoyed him greatly.

Connor expected Murphy to open the door right away, not look at him like dumb little shit, it was making him uncomfortable; he didn't know what to make of his brother's reaction. Was he realizing what they had just done and was now regretting it? He shifted on his feet awkwardly, reaching the peak of his frustration and gesturing to the door, "Go on; open the door for Christ's sake!" Murphy snapped out of it and nodded blankly, swallowing hard, as he pushed himself from the door and turned to open it; his hand was shaking and he felt lightheaded. The man on the other side of the door stepped in and informed them that they couldn't stay there all day. Murphy expressed his understanding and the man left, thankfully not staying to watch them leave.

Once the man was gone Murphy looked at Connor with an unreadable expression, "So, I guess we should get goin', huh?" Without waiting for a response he began to quickly gather his things. Connor did the same thing and he was the first one to walk out the door, Murphy glancing over his shoulder after him.

The next day they went out to get supplies, meaning mostly weapons, because Connor had done some research and found out about a Russian syndicate meeting. Their plan was to simply take them all out, both brothers completely confident in their abilities to do so. The rest of the day before had been awkward and uncomfortable, Connor practically didn't speak one word to Murphy, and Murphy didn't want to set him off again, he figured they both just needed some sleep. But this day wasn't much different, only Connor seemed to be speaking a bit more.

They found a small underground gun shop and were eager to see what it had. Walking in the twins looked around, their faces lighting up at the site of all the different guns and knives. Murphy went straight for the bigger guns while Connor went for the smaller ones, both of them playing around with them with giant grins on their faces. "Christ, this is a lot of good stuff," Murph announced, momentarily forgetting the awkwardness.

It seemed to take Connor's mind off of how uncomfortable he felt as well because he responded with an, "Ey, it's extremely good!" He chuckled, "I'll take one of everything."

"Hell yeah we're gettin' one of everything," Murphy replied with a wide grin, "Better to overdo it than under do it."

"Exactly!"

They continued to check everything out, taking their sweet time in deciding what they liked the most. Murphy was glad that both of their moods had lifted and that they were actually having a good time, even though the tension between them was still palpable. Murphy slowly made his way to his brother, and the closer he got the more nervous he felt. He didn't like feeling so timid around his twin; he didn't like having to watch his step around him. He was supposed to be close with Connor, not feeling like he couldn't breathe or keep his heartbeat steady. Once he was standing less than a foot away he leaned against one of the tables and looked down at his hands as he fidgeted with a couple bullets he held in them. He was hoping Connor would say something to him but, instead, something caught his brother's eye and he bounded off toward it. Murphy didn't bother to look up, he kept fidgeting.

"Ahh... we need this here rope."

Murphy looked up and immediately snorted, not expecting that, "What? Why? Why would we possibly need rope?"

Connor paused, looking at the rope and stuttering, trying to think of a real reason, "I don't know," he said a bit defensively, "Just in case?"

Murphy chuckled, "In case of what?"

"Um... In case.. In case we need to tie something up."

At hearing that Murphy's mind went to a weird place and he looked down again, blushing slightly at the images appearing in his head, sexual images involving the two of them and the rope. This time he fidgeted with his nails, laughing nervously. It was torture, absolute torture, feeling like this around Connor, feeling uncertain and embarrassed, not to mention incredibly turned on.

"What's that look for, Murph? You're turning red," he asked, actually sort of amused.

Murphy shook his head, blushing even more, "It's nothin', don't worry about it. I was just thinkin' about something, that's all."

Connor raised a curious eyebrow, "Thinking about what now? Somethin' to do with the rope?"

He nodded, chewing on his lip, "Yeah... you don't wanna know."

"Sure I do." He stood there waiting for an answer, and when it didn't come he went to Murphy, giving him a brotherly slap on the shoulder, "Come on; let's hear it."

Murphy looked downward at the rope Connor was holding, wondering how he should go about telling him. He knew it was stupid to do anything there, and at that time, that he should have kept insisting it was nothing, but part of him wanted to see how Connor would react if he initiated something. He reached out and took the rope from his twin, causing a curious expression to fill Connor's face, and played with it, thinking. A few seconds later, without saying a word, he reached out again, this time taking Connor's wrist and pulling it to him. He wrapped part of the rope around the wrist, determination in his features, mostly because he was trying not to seem so nervous. He then quickly took his other wrist and did the same thing before drawing them together and tying a knot around both of them. Connor was bewildered by Murphy's actions, and something about it made his heartbeat quicken in anticipation, which he wasn't sure if he liked or not. Once Connor's hands were tied Murphy looked up into his brother's eyes, his expression a mixture of seriousness and embarrassment, "I was thinking about you tyin' me up," he whispered; and when Connor just stared at him breathlessly it gave him a jolt of confidence. He yanked gently on Connor's wrists, stepping closer, and leaned into him so he could speak into his ear, "Me, all bound up," he took a second to lick his lips, "and you, doing whatever you want with me..." His own thoughts were arousing him, and just the fact that he was actually wording them out to his brother increased that arousal.

Connor was stunned, he never would have thought Murphy would be this bold, the most he could think of was Murphy jokingly telling him he'd tie him up, but this, this was serious. His head was foggy and he swallowed hard, trying to find words to say, any at all, "Jesus, Murph..." No, no words were coming to him. And then it hit him, what if the clerk could see them? "This really isn't the place," he said dryly.

Murphy looked over his twin's shoulder to look for the shop keeper, he was currently facing away from them but if he turned around he would very much be able to see them, and he didn't really want that either. He sighed, closing his eyes for a second, "Fuck..." He quickly began to untie the rope, mumbling, "You're killin' me, you really are."

Connor just barely heard those words and he had denied them, it was the other way around, Murphy was the one killing him; he needed Murphy, he wanted him, and he desperately wanted to play out the fantasy he had just been told. Once he was free of the rope he was lost, he didn't know what to do. Denying Murphy was hard, but he couldn't do stuff like that in public, he didn't even know if he could at all, his conscience was still telling him it was wrong. He spun around, looking for the shop keeper; wanting to see for himself if the man had seen them. It didn't seem like it, to his relief. He turned back, taking his rope back, and awkwardly began to gather up everything he decided he wanted. "Got everything you want?" he asked dismissively, not looking at his brother.

Murphy's features fell and his shoulders slumped as he picked up a few things, "Yeah.." His voice was hoarse and it barely even came out, once again he felt hurt. But then again, it was his fault, he shouldn't have been so stupid. He walked quietly up to the counter with Connor, letting him take care of paying for it and such. He thought about just leaving without him, they didn't really have to stick together, he figured. But no matter how embarrassed he was he stayed, because he couldn't leave Connor, not for any reason.


	4. Chapter 4

The ride back home was silent; Murphy stared out the window, his mind racing with everything that had happened so far, and Connor drove, sitting stiffly in his seat and never taking his eyes off the road. It was so silent that not even the radio was on. Murphy didn't think he could take any more of this, this torturous silence and insecurity, sure it had all happened so quickly, but it was also going nowhere just as fast. He needed it to go somewhere. Suddenly his pondering was interrupted by the sound of the engine cutting off and he turned his head just in time to see Connor practically fly from the car, not taking any time in leaving, taking their things with him. Murphy stayed seated for a minute, not wanting to rush in after him. The best thing to do right now would probably be to think out his next approach, to actually have an idea of what he should do; he couldn't just barge in there and demand Connor to let out his feelings, he had to be cautious, go about things gently. And that's what he would do, no matter how frustrated he was. Finally he got out and slowly walked up to their place, letting his brother have some space, even if it was for just a moment more. He was nervous, and his chest tightened at the thought of what might occur now that they'd be alone together, but he was determined, more determined than he'd ever been about anything. Reaching the front door he entered and immediately heard Connor putting things away, maybe a bit too roughly. He sighed and tried his best to slow down his heartbeat as he moved though doorways until he found his twin. Connor seemed ticked off, slamming things just barely enough to show his frustration, most likely the same frustration Murphy was feeling. It had to be now, now and no later, Murphy knew that, they had to talk right now, no matter how scared he was, how scared they both were. "Connor..." he began, his voice soft and weary, "We really need to talk..." He bit his lip, waiting for a response, practically holding his breath.

At the sound of Murphy's voice Connor froze before setting his palms flat on the counter in front of him and hanging his head with his eyes closed. "Yeah, I know," he answered quietly. He wasn't ready to talk about it, but maybe he never would be, so he had to just face it, ready or not.

Murphy nodded his head at the response, even though his brother couldn't see, but now he was having a hard time coming up with how to start the actual conversation. He chewed on his lip for a moment before just saying what came to him, "Why are you denying what's happening between us?"

Connor could hear the hurt in his twin's voice and it made his face scrunch up with guilt as he tried to hold himself together; he never wanted to cause his brother any kind of pain. "I..." he attempted to speak, but his voice quivered. He brought a hand to his forehead, choking on a sob, "I..." he tried again. Murphy's body tensed and his eyes widened in fear, was Connor crying? He was about to try and comfort him when Connor took a deep, shaky breath, "I'm not denying it... I'm holding back because God wouldn't approve." There was a shudder before he continued, "I feel sick for doing what I did to you..."

Murphy shook his head, stepping closer, "You didn't do anything to me."

It was then that Connor broke and let his sobs out, his whole body shaking, "I seduced you... I'm corrupting you..."

Now Murphy was really worried, he hardly ever saw his brother like this. He closed the distance, placing one hand on Connor's left shoulder and the other on his upper arm, gripping him firmly and shaking him a bit, "Stop it Conn, you didn't do anything wrong. You're not corrupting me and you didn't seduce me." When Connor kept crying Murphy gently turned him around, shushing him, and cupped his cheek, looking into his brother's eyes even though he was looking down and wiping his tears away, "And if God didn't want us doing this.. then he wouldn't have let us have these feelings..."

Murphy was right, he was completely right, and Connor couldn't deny that; if it was so wrong then they wouldn't be experiencing it. Still looking down he gave a slight nod, allowing himself to calm down, "I just want things to be fucking normal," he stated blankly. He knew it sounded bad, saying what they had wasn't normal, but he couldn't help it, he wanted to be happy with his brother without things being complicated.

Murphy stroked his twin's cheek and forced him to look up, "Whatever we choose to do is normal for us, even if it's not normal to others; you hear me?"

Connor looked into Murphy's eyes, immense love showing through but also a sense of fear, "I wish it wasn't so hard for me to accept..."

Now Murphy held Connor's face in both hands and shifted so he was right in front of him, "It's new and unexpected, of course it's hard, but we'll take it slow. We'll ease into it, ok?" His eyes searched his brother's, his voice timid again, "You do want this, right...?" His heartbeat was speeding up again as he waited for the answer, praying he said yes. He really thought he would die if Connor said no.

After a few seconds Connor nodded and breathed out a single word, "Yes..."

That was all Murphy needed, his brother's simple permission, that one word. He'd never heard anything in his whole life that made him as happy as what Connor had just uttered. He nodded back as he drew closer, "Slow," he whispered assuredly. They were so close again, their chests heaving, Murphy's probably a bit more than Connor's, and they looked at each other's mouths, taking their time and savoring the moment before they actually connected. It was still odd, being brothers and sharing this burning desire, but it had always been there, even though Connor hadn't realized it until just the other day, and he now understood it was alright to act on it.

With Murphy's hands still holding his twin's face he finally let their lips brush together, the softest, most gentle touch, and they both inhaled deeply, their bodies shuddering. Murphy shifted closer, making sure his hold on Connor was secure, causing Connor to step back into the counter, before pressing their lips together firmly. It was their second kiss but it felt like the first, the dominant brother trying his best to keep it tender, not wanting it to be too much for the other.

Connor had never felt so heated, never felt like his legs were going to collapse on him any second, kissing Murphy was the most incredible sensation. He'd been waiting his whole life to feel this way. He kissed back, letting his lips move softly and rhythmically with his brother's, his hands slowly going up to rest on Murphy's hips. Then he felt Murphy's body press into his, their chests and abdomens touching for a brief moment, causing him to let out a muffled whine into his twin's mouth. At the whine Murphy's tongue delved into Connor, penetrating him in the only way he could at the time; entering him, being inside him, tasting him, and lord his taste drove him wild. With the kiss deepening Connor's arousal began to grow and he gripped at Murphy's shirt, pulling at it desperately. Murphy was just as aroused, letting out a whimper of his own and driving his fingers through Connor's hair. Murphy had never kissed someone so passionately, and he sort of hoped Connor hadn't either.

The kiss was getting heavy and it was getting to that point where hands would be roaming and things would be going further and Connor didn't really want that, even though he did at the same time; he didn't want it going by in a flurry of hazy motions. "Oh my god..." he moaned as he reluctantly pushed his brother away at the hips and pulled his head away, breathing harshly and trying to put his thoughts in order. Murphy complied, but just as reluctantly, his face redder and flushed more than Connor could have ever imagined possible, which Connor thought was absolutely beautiful. "Fuck," he tried to catch his breath, looking into his twin's eyes, "I want to... I want to go further but, fuck, I don't know why but I just can't..." The truth of the matter was that he was scared; he wished he wasn't, but he was.

Murphy brushed his had along Connor's cheek one more time before stepping away, nodding and swallowing, "No, it's alright Conn, we shouldn't get carried away. I don't want us to go too fast either."

Connor bit his lip, a small smirk appearing on his face at how incredibly adorable his brother was, "My god, Murph, what are you doing to me?"


End file.
